O+Bid+Me+Poem

I'd Rather

 In Act 4 scene 1 of //Romeo and Juliet,// Juliet reacts to her impending marriage to Paris with a piece of verse that uses vivid imagery:


 * O bid me leap, rather than marry Paris, **
 * From off the battlements of any tower, **
 * Or walk in thievish ways, or bid me lurk **
 * Where serpents are; chain me with roaring bears, **
 * Or hide me nightly in a charnel house, **
 * O'ercovered quite with dead men's rattling bones, **
 * With reeky shanks and yellow chapless skulls; **
 * Or bid me go into a new-made grave **
 * And hide me with a dead man in his shroud-- **
 * Things that, to hear them told, have made me **
 *  tremble-- **
 * And I will do it without fear or doubt, **
 * To live an unstained wife to my sweet love. **

 Your task is to write a poem in which you mirror the style and tone of this piece. Choose something you absolutely detest--it could be bugs, homework, or Justin Beiber--doesn't matter--and then come up with a list of things you would rather do than be exposed to that. Have fun with the language, and don't be afraid to go Elizabethan on it!

<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;"> Here's mine:


 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">O Bid me stuff, rather than grade these papers, **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">A thousand felt-tipped sharpies up my nose, **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">or walk to school on nails, or bid me sleep **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">under my desk; chain me with complaining students, **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">or cut between my toes with file folders, **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">nice and deep so blood will flow. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">Take away my coffeepot and let me no caffeine consume-- **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">or bid me staple my eyelids shut so no offending grammar assails **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">mine eyes. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">Things that, to hear them told, have made me crumble, **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">but I will do them with no regret **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;">to shred these papers: every set. **

<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif; font-size: 160%;">Ready? Set? Go!